Houston
Houston is a glorious place; it is easily the best city I have ever been to for food. Houston is a driving city with its low population density and spread restaurants, meaning having a car is a necessity to hit all the food on this list – but it is well worth it. The BBQ, Mother of God, the BBQ in this city is the best. Four of my top five meals were all BBQ restaurants in this magnificent city. FOUR OUT OF FIVE! On top of that, six of my top eleven meals were all in Houston as well. With two Mexican and Tex-Mex restaurants rounding out the KILLER BBQ. Houston was truly a foodie’s dream; I highly recommend everyone come here and enjoy all the glorious grub this city has to offer.
BBQ/Ribs
Rank: 1
Here it is folks. The treasure trove of restaurants. The glorious bounty of meat that is Truth BBQ. Truth BBQ is, easily the best food I have eaten. It is in a TIER of its own in deliciousness. I waited in a line like an amusement park roller coaster for this, and I would wait even longer, as you should. I arrived twenty minutes before Truth opened, and I waited ninety minutes in line until I ordered. That line was meaningless to me, seriously I would wait at least five hours in a line for a chance at Truth, if I was in Houston again. If I could have Truth BBQ right now, I honestly would sit in a line of at least ten-twelve hours. Truth BBQ is THAT good.
I ordered six pounds of meat, trying the sausage, ribs, pork, turkey, and brisket. I tried all the sausages, and all three were the best sausages I have had in my life, with the spicy pepper jack being my favorite. The jalapeño cheddar and the house sausage were both fantastic, but the spicy pepper jack definitely separated itself here. The turkey was the best turkey I have had in my life, and the brisket was the second-best brisket I have ever eaten.
But now we come to the heavenly ribs. These ribs are not only the best ribs I have ever had, but they are also, hands down, the best food I have ever eaten in my entire life. I shit you not. I sat down and ate this mountain of meat with two brothers, who invited me to join them after waiting in line with them and their jaws were literally on the floor watching me devour the ribs and the rest of the meat I acquired. The brother across from me, a fairly hefty Houston native, said that it was the quickest he has ever seen anyone eat ribs. Quoting the brother sitting across from me: “I have never seen anyone swallow a rack of ribs whole, until now.”
And then I went on to continue the feast of meat. In all honesty, while eating these ribs, everything around me seemed meaningless. I barely noticed the brothers watching me in awe, I was so entrenched in these ribs. I was in heaven.
I beg of you, if you care for the joy of your stomach, heart, and mind, please make a trip to Truth BBQ and prepare yourself for a magnificent journey down a sea of worshiping your own taste buds. If you are in Houston, this is a must. If you are into BBQ, this is a must. If you are a human on planet earth, this meal is a MUST. Truth BBQ, aptly named, is the truth of all food. TRUST me, in telling you, you must make a quest to Truth BBQ.
BBQ/Brisket
Rank: 3
After writing up Truth BBQ, and reminiscing on it, I can’t believe Houston had SO much amazing BBQ, to offer. Corkscrew comes in at number two, because you cannot forget about the rest of Houston’s BBQ, just because of Truth. Corkscrew, has the moistest, most delicious brisket I ever had, coupled with the second-best ribs I have ever eaten. The sausage was the fourth-best sausage I have had, and it was also the second-best turkey I have eaten.
I once again feasted like a king at Corkscrew. I had five pounds of meat here, and my only regret is not obtaining a sixth pound of brisket. I am obligated to take some time here to discuss just how juicy this moist brisket was, it was melting in my mouth. I was blown away, and was literally speechless. This happens with ELITE grub like Corkscrew, so it was not surprising. But I am beyond serious that you owe it to yourself to come get the brisket here.
The line, like Truth, was also long. But, Jesus, who cares! During said line you get to smell the glorious barbequing that is going on behind the scenes that will result in a masterful display of meat on your plate. The brisket here is to die for, and I would wait an ungodly amount of time to have it again, as should you. Be prepared for your mind, mouth, and world to be blown.
BBQ/Pork Belly
Rank: 5
Tejas may have chocolate in its name, but, My God, please just get all the pork belly. The ribs were good, my sixth-best ribs, and the pulled pork and sausage were also good. But, honestly, the pork belly and brisket separate themselves from the rest of the menu. While Tejas had the third-best brisket I have eaten, the pork belly was easily the best item on the menu.
I was honestly surprised that I would enjoy a pork belly more than brisket, especially after having Corkscrew. But Tejas pork belly was simultaneously crunchy and melting in my mouth. It was a confusingly wonderful experience that I once again would easily recommend to everyone.
So here we are. Go get yourselves some amazing pork belly from Tejas after filling up on ribs and brisket at the top two spots. While Houston is super spread out, and all of these spots are a distance away from one another, honestly it just doesn’t even matter. The food in this city is so good, that driving all over town is EASILY worth it. And Tejas is third on that list, which is quite commendable, considering Houston’s overall deliciousness.
BBQ/Brisket and Ribs
Rank: 6
If you haven’t noticed the theme so far, Houston holds four of my top five meals, and all four are, of course, BBQ. Now if that doesn’t tell you a few things about Houston, and probably me as well, I do not know what to tell you. Pinkerton’s is another amazing spot in Houston that has great sausage, turkey, boudin, ribs, pulled pork, and brisket. However, it should not be a surprise that the brisket and ribs are the two stand-outs at Pinkerton’s.
The brisket was, in my opinion, slightly better than the ribs, however, both were absolutely fantastic and are clearly in the elite tier of BBQ, in my rankings. While they are not in a stand-alone tier that is sacred to Truth, coming in at number five overall, and number four in Houston, makes Pinkerton’s hold a special place in my heart.
Pinkerton’s is another one of those lines that goes by fast because of the glorious smells you experience while waiting. If you are in Houston you MUST plan to have more than four meals, so for Christ’s sake make one of them Pinkerton’s. Pinkerton’s is also great because it is one of the few BBQ places that is open fairly late, which makes it a nice dinner spot.
Mexican/Quesadillas
Rank: 10
Onto Teotihuacan, our rightful first venture away from Houston’s exquisite BBQ scene. Houston has next-level Mexican and Tex-Mex to offer and, while focusing on BBQ is great, it would be your loss if you did not make a trip to one of Teotihuacan’s three locations, particularly for their Quesadillas De Fajitas.
Teotihuacan’s quesadillas are somehow just an appetizer and yet the best item on the menu. The tacos at Teotihuacan were great, but these quesadillas were AMAZING. They were one of those foods that made me speechless, and it is definitely the best appetizer on my list.
The beef quesadillas will make your mouth water. I beg of you to make a stop for these quesadillas alone, as the quesadillas are the best Mexican food I have had. I would venture to say the fajitas and chicken quesadillas are equally revolutionary, however without trying them I cannot speak to their potential greatness. Additionally, Teotihuacan’s quesadillas are a top ten meal for me, which is definitely meaningful.
Tex-Mex/Fajita Burger
Rank: 11
Original Ninfa’s does not rank too far behind Teotihuacan, as it is the second-best Mexican food I have eaten. The award-winning fajita burger is, of course, what I ordered, and, My God, I cannot see a reason for ordering anything else at Ninfa’s.
The fajita burger is Houston Tex-Mex perfection, and, not only is it extremely flavorful, the cheese and onions are perfectly melted together. The burger is loaded with just enough spice, amazing avocado, and fajitas, that will melt in your mouth.
I am sure the rest of Ninfa’s menu is spectacular, but their fajita burger is one of those foods that are award-winning for a reason, and is another avenue to enjoy the Tex-Mex unique to Houston.
BBQ
Rank: 94
The Pit Room interrupts the brief break from Houston BBQ, provided by Teotihuacan and Ninfa’s. While delicious, The Pit Room represents Houston’s first dip in my overall rankings, clocking in ten spots below its predecessor Ninfa’s. This is standard protocol in most cities. Houston boasts six amazing restaurants, in my top eleven, that it is almost hard to believe I have not moved to this city and continued to eat my weight in BBQ.
That being said, The Pit Room is not something to gloss over if you have time for more meals in Houston. The brisket, sausage, ribs, and pulled pork were all quite tasty. My favorite was easily the brisket. While the brisket at The Pit Room may not rival the other elite brisket in Houston, outside of Houston, I have not had a better brisket in my life This brisket is another meal where waiting in line is easily worth it and enjoying the smells of the barbeque going on in the Pit Room is yet another glorious escapade. The Pit Room is also open late, providing a great spot to snag a second or third BBQ dinner until nine o’clock.
Burgers
Rank: 137
A pound of meat, not a problem. A half a pound of bacon, even less so. That is the kind of mindset you need to be in when you are going to Mel’s Country Café. Mel’s Country Café provides the best burger I have ever eaten in my life, and, surprisingly, one, of only two, burgers on my list entirely.
Mel’s will provide you with an absolutely massive burger by the way of the Mega Mel Burger if you are feeling extremely bold. I would have gone for it, had I not taken my talents to Mel’s immediately following my feast at Truth. That being said, I did devour the Mel Burger, and it was without a doubt the best burger I have had, so far, in my life. While my jaw did not drop while I was eating it, the same cannot be said of other customers at the restaurant. This burger was an absolute monster in terms of sheer size, and it was worth every massive bite I took. Surprisingly, with the amount of meat on the burger, the ratios between meat, toppings, and cheese were spectacular. And the buns were, impressively, strong enough to hold together such a massively stacked burger.
Breakfast
Rank: 156
Telwink Grill offers a peek into the busiest diner I have ever seen. It is quite shocking and amazing to watch this place run as efficiently as it does. While the place is insanely busy, and for good reason, the people-watching is a blast. The food is even better.
Telwink’s menu offers an array of delicious options. The French toast and jalapeño sausage is what I ordered, and I absolutely loved it. Both offerings were spectacular, and, I must say, I would probably try something else if I came back to Telwink, based on the sheer number of goodies they offer. I do not think you could go wrong at all at this bustling diner. I highly recommend snagging Telwink’s, maybe before you head off to the Houston space center, and see all Houston has to offer on the space exploration past.
Burgers
Rank: 173
Stanton’s City Bites offers an amazing burger. And, I mean, you are in Texas, burgers are great here. Stanton’s is another phenomenal hole-in-the-wall joint that will surely fill your burger needs.
I was recommended the Spicy Chipotle, and, by god, it did not disappoint. The burger was absolutely fantastic, and it is the second of the burger joints on my rankings. This means that Stanton’s is the second-best burger I have ever had the pleasure of devouring. And boy, did I devour this beauty!
If you are feeling a burger, in Texas, come to Stanton’s for a fantastic array of options. It is as perfect a burger as you can imagine.
Mexican/Tacos
Rank: 316
While Tacos Tierra Caliente rounds off my list in Houston, near the end of my total rankings, that is not saying anything bad about this amazing taco truck. The tacos are tremendous, and with a wide variety of fire options, you will not leave disappointed.
I had an al pastor, a barbacoa, and a chicharron taco. My favorite was the barbacoa, of the three. The tacos are definitely what you want to get from this truck. They offer quesadillas as well, but the barbacoa was absolutely fantastic. I would definitely recommend making a stop here if you are craving a taco, late-night, or at any time, to be honest. However, I would not go out of my way for Tacos Tierra Caliente, unless a taco truck really suits your fancy.
Places I did not have time to get to, but was recommended:
1. Lopez
2. Villa Arcos
3. Kileans
4. Gatling
5. Roegels
6. Kelley’s Country Cooking
7. Langford Grocer
8. Hubcap Grill
9. Frank’s
10. Piazaros
11. Dot Coffee Shop
12. Niko Niko’s
13. Xochi
14. Fonda Santa Roas
15. El Ultimo
16. Taconazo
17. Himalaya
18. Girados
19. Buster’s
20. Honey Bees
21. Go go Curry
22. Golden Dip Sum
23. The Turkey Leg Hut
24. Candenta
25. Crawfish and Noodles